For _bettina_: "Chris/Lance set in the Buffy/Angel universe, maybe with Chris as a vampire."

"You know what the worst part of being a vampire is?" Chris said mournfully.

"...The part where the tiny and irritating blond chick keeps trying to put a stake through your heart and/or behead you?" Lance inspected his manicure, frowned, and reached for the nail file.

"No, although close."

"The part where the tiny and irritating blond chick's friends follow along behind her and make wisecracks as the tiny and irritating blond chick tries to put a stake through your heart and/or behead you?"

"...No, although now that you mention it, that's pretty irritating too. I mean, what is it with them? Aren't humans supposed to be afraid of us? I distinctly remember when humans used to be afraid of us. When we first came to this miserable excuse for a Hellmouth, even. It's not as though --"

"Chris." Lance's voice held the ease of long patience and years of practice at hauling Chris back from whatever verbal tangent he'd gone off on.

"What?"

"The worst part of being a vampire."

Chris brightened. "Oooh, yeah, what is the worst part of being a vampire?"

Sometimes, Lance thought, the sire/childe bond was the only thing keeping him from tying Chris to the bed and calling the tiny and irritating blond chick himself. He wondered if he'd screwed up the process of turning Chris in the first place. Maybe some pig's blood had gotten in the mix, or something. "That's what I was asking you. You brought it up."

"Oh! Right. No, the worst part of being a vampire is that I look really awful without a tan."

Lance sighed. Tiny and irritating blond chick it was.

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